Dee: The Light that Shines in the Darkness

Dee: The Light that Shines in the Darkness

Dee, you are one of the most inspirational and influential people in my life. As you know, the therapeutic relationship is like no other relationship: clearly defined boundaries provide the safety needed to complete the work of salvaging the self. For 90 minutes a week over a five year period of time, you and I engaged in the rescue mission of the little girl in me who was ravaged by the ones she loved and needed the most. I came to you with a fragmented mind and a broken heart. Together we went through the painstaking, grueling process of piecing together the story of my life so that I could finally know the truth of who I was. You shined your light into my darkness and helped me unlock the secrets I kept from the world and from myself. With your knowledge, skill, creativity, intuition, and wisdom, you guided me on a path of healing that has changed my life forever. You saw into the parts of me that others refused to see—the parts of myself which were invisible even to me. You heard, honored, respected, and loved every part of my mind and you taught me how to do the same. Clinging to the mantra, “The truth shall set you free,” I gained from you the courage to confront the people and situations that contributed to my suffering. Though many ran from my revelations, you stood firm, always encouraging me to take the next step. By the time it came time for me to leave your office, I had come to know and experience the wholeness that was my birthright. Both of us celebrated this triumph, which in part was made possible by the fact that your love went deeper than the perpetrator’s hate.

Dee, you were a master at understanding trauma and healing. You had knowledge not found in text books and depth I knew not existed. No matter how ugly life got, you consistently sought beauty. You used your struggles not only to improve your own life, but to better the lives of others. Though you were no stranger to despair, you went deeper to discover the hope that is always ours for the taking. You were a talented artist, an exceptional writer, and a brilliant therapist.

Thank you for all that you gave and taught to me. As I travel through life, I will remember the valuable lessons you imparted to me:
There are no magical rescues; life is like bananas-- it comes in bunches; when in doubt, do nothing; follow your gut feeling; you can’t know something before you learn it; the process is sometimes more important than the end result; don’t judge other people by your standards; the truth shall set you free; there is always hope. Most of all, I will remember to know myself, trust myself, value myself, stand up for myself, and BE MYSELF!

At our last session on August 28, 2001, I refused to say goodbye. You informed me that in the South, people don’t say goodbye. When it comes time to go separate ways, Southerners say, “Y’all come back!” You also reminded me that you’d always be with me, as the “therapist in my pocket.” When I told you I could never repay you, you instructed me to hand on to others the love that I received from you.

Today, I again refuse to say goodbye. I know that you are and always will be with me. Though I do not have a rose-filled basket cake or a hand-made thank you blanket to give (as I did at our last session), I do have this: the promise to spend the rest of my life giving to the world the knowledge, strength, insight, wisdom, and love that you gave to me.

Thank you, Dee, for helping me to save my life. I promise to live it well. I will never forget you and I look forward to when we meet again. I love you, Dee.

Love,
Brandi
June 11, 2010 9:02 PM